I learned that I have a maniac inside of me on February 3rd, 2002. Six years into our marriage we were still living in the “15 cent dinner, ramen noodle years”, where you have no money at all. But we’d splurged on a TV. It was the first major purchase of our marriage and we’d sacrificed a lot to get it. The beast was about 17,000 times heavier than current TVs, but we’d purchased the best of the best.
I was trying to enjoy the Super Bowl (Patriots vs.the Rams) and things had turned around for the Rams as they tied it up 17 to 17. But when Vinatieri kicked the field goal to win the game for the Patriots I exploded. I took the remote and threw it as hard as I could and completely destroyed that TV. It felt good in the moment. A very short moment. In flooded regret, embarrassment, and shame. I mean, I was a pastor of a small church seeking sincerely to care for my people and I thought, “What is this inside of me?” God used this terribly embarrassing moment to begin my journey toward healing.
Maybe you can relate. If so, I want to convince you that anger is not something to be feared, it is something that can actually be a gift from God and that if you can embrace it you will actually find yourself being rescued from it because you will start to deal with it rather than hide from it.
So why does anger make me smile?…
There’s more to the story. The full article will be released soon.
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